Wednesday, May 7, 2014

I am a terrible writer.

As with most families, when the baby comes life gets busy. Imagine a 4 yr old, a mobile infant, husband on 2nd shift (3 pm-11 pm, or as I like to call it - normal time for kids to go crazy), a full time job, holidays, and a graduate level accounting class and you might have an idea of what my life has been like recently. Basically the typical life of a family of four.

We've had our terrible parent moments. Ben fell off my bed, Izzy actually can't hear us because we discovered she has an ear infection, not selective hearing (I still believe it's that too), the laundry hasn't been folded in over a week, dinners have consisted of fruit, cottage cheese, and noodles, and the list of "I keep meaning to" grows daily. I keep meaning to hang the hooks for the kids towels. I keep meaning to take that box of clothes to goodwill. I keep meaning to plant those seeds. I keep meaning to send pictures of Ben to my grandfather in Georgia - I still have the envelope ready just needs stamps! Of course, that was nearly a year ago now.

We've had our terrible adult moments too. Our anniversary came and went with no fanfare (which really is ok). The same with Valentine's Day. And I know I missed several birthdays and other important events because I just didn't think about it until it was too late. The oil in my van needs to be changed - roughly 1000 miles ago. Don't get mad at me! You think about how fun it would be with a 4 yr old and a mobile infant in a garage waiting room for at least 30 mins if not longer?!?! And don't forget it's dinner time for them too.

I've had my ups and downs. Tried for a different position, got turned down. My husband has tried for a couple of different positions - been turned down. Thought we found a good affordable house - it was a disaster inside. Deciding to stop pumping/breast feeding has been tougher for me with Ben than it was for Izzy - and more painful. Not doing as well as I expected in my graduate class has thrown me for a loop and made me question why I'm doing this. I've lost all my baby weight, and now some of my pre-baby weight too. Since I'm stopping pumping I'm going to pick up working out to keep my daily burned calories roughly the same.

But through all of this - my favorite times during the day are when I get to snuggle with my babies on my chair, hug them in the shower, run my hands through their hair when they are asleep. Seeing Ben's face light up when he sees me, hearing Izzy run through the house to get to the kitchen door because I'm home.

I may be a terrible adult. Bills may not get paid on time, maintenance schedules may be forgotten, things might take months to get done. But to my two kids - I'm one hell of a mom.

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